Underground Drinking

I brushed upon girls acting sloppily in my last post, but I can't help discussing it further but this time directed at males.  A great personal experience of mine was recently where I was locked in the basement with a guy by his friends (classy). Then the guy, lets call him *Zac, threw himself at me. I get it. When you are tipsy and single you want to hookup. But I was not that buzzed and I hadn't been leading him on. So we made out for I'd say 15 minutes and then I told him directly that I wasn't looking to have sex with him. What a rapid change of mood. And that's when we found out we were locked in the basement. Listen guys, when you're looking for just a one night deal you need to find the right girl. When you go after a girl who isn't going after you and get shut down, never texting her or talking to her again except about a potential booty call is not the way to go. Another great experience is when guys drunk text me for an ego boost. I have had this happen so many times and it seriously is a turn off. Girls want guys to be confident, then once we are closer we don't mind you sharing your flaws that way we know you are human. But after only 2 weeks that is way too soon. Lastly, I witnessed at my New Years some serious sloppy guy drama. My girl *Jackie and I were out and she was obviously interested in another guy, *Brent. But *TJ was following her like a puppy dog, even after she blatantly made out with Brent. He then confronted me about the situation and when I told him Jackie was seriously into Brent he had a temper tantrum. I guess where I was intending to go with this post is, boys MAKE us WANT to be with/near/hook up with you. I do not mean be an a**hole because while we may like the chase at first we will eventually grow sick of you. Instead, just be laid back. Nobody likes a boy actively trying to just get into bed with them.

What happened that night?

I want to talk about drinking since it makes up a large portion of women's lives from ages 17-26 (I'd say). I feel every party I go to or college "get together" your bound to get seriously drunk. And I have been to all different types of campus set ups and they all are the same. But the way I see it drinking itself isn't the problem; it is who exactly are you drinking with. An article published in The Journal of Sex Education and Therapy reported that 68% of women who were raped, sexually assaulted, and illicitly restrained at a party were done so by drunk male assailants. I understand from personal experience that when you are at a party you are not paying specific attention to who is close to you or who is making your drinks. But you have to. And for the girls who go to parties without any friends with you, its not a smart move. You have no one there you can trust from past knowledge that they wouldn't hurt you. But also I have to admit, I have seen girls willingly go of with guys who they had never met before and the girls were beyond drunk. I even asked a girl once did she really wanna go with the guy back to his apartment and she was so inebriated she could barely make out a sentence. And I tried to find her friends but there was nobody at the entire party who knew the girl. So yes I get it. I understand wanting to get that "buzzed" feeling, and the thrill of making out with a complete stranger, or handing out your phone number. But ladies lets do it with some caution and class. Otherwise you might be waking up and asking yourself "What happened last night?" And you may not want to know the answer.

That Boy

It's been a while; life has so many distractions: school, boys, work etc. I never really thought my life was complicated but looking back on this past semester I have to admit it is. I feel boys have it much easier because they are capable of going with the flow and girls aren't. We don't know how to just enjoy where life takes us, we try to plan out our every move. And we are so easily affected. For example, one break up can destroy our grades, our jobs, essentially our lives. And the negative effect of it is we then become obsessed with "winning" the break up. But honestly, that boy shouldn't have such a strong hold over us. We should be happy with who we are; someone told me lately that before you can love someone else you need to first love yourself and you need to be happy by yourself in order to be happy with others. So for all of those girls out there who have had that boy out there who basically ruined your grades, friendships, job, you can't let them. The same for those guys who have had that girl who basically devastated your life (although I feel this is a rare actuality) You have to be happy with yourself. So don't let that boy/girl take over your thoughts and life; just accept that you are better off. Because who wants to be with someone that doesn't want you back?

Old-Fashioned

So I came across an article on Yahoo from October 22nd. It discussed how in India over 200 girls legally changed their names. Each girl had a name that meant "unwanted" in Hindi. This article reached out to me emotionally because it's moving to see girls unloved and unwanted by their own family. One girl was quoted saying she was named by a disappointed grandfather. People don't understand the emotional scarring that can come from this form of verbal abuse. However, it also was encouraging to see that society is beginning to see the negative effect they are having on girls and are acknowledging girls. And this isn't just occurring in developing countries. Girls here in America can be suffocated and limited to what they can or can't do by their families due to tradition, religion, or just simple prejudice. Those with closed views like these really don't understand the worth a girl can provide to a society. We provide new points of view, creativity, initiative, and other worthy traits. If you feel stifled or believe you are not good enough, from your family or from peers, I can guarantee you that you are not. And as this article shows, society is beginning to release old fashioned traditions, and are creating new ones, such as the renaming ceremony.

A Kiss Goodnight

Do you know how many women got their last goodnight kiss yesterday before passing away from Breast Cancer? In 2011 there have been 230,480 new cases of breast cancer found in women, according to The National Cancer Institute. October is breast cancer awareness month and I was triggered to write a blog about it after I had my yogurt a couple days ago. On the top of my Dannon was a pink lid, and it informed me if I went and entered my code I would have donated 10 cents to help find the cure for breast cancer. So I did and now I find myself buying all of the Pink items that guarantee to send a portion of their profits to aid in the search for a cure. I never felt the need to purchase these items before, but after I did donate that 10 cents I got three different emails thanking me and telling me how I was helping women everywhere. And although I know this is probably a part of the company's marketing plan, to encourage myself among other customers to go purchase more of their product, it made me feel great. Great to know that I may have potentially helped, even if it was in such a small and indirect way as me grabbing a yogurt on my way to class. So I encourage everyone to, I intend to at least until the end of October, that when you pick up a yogurt, or a cereal, or a shirt and it says if you enter this code you can help donate x amount of money that you do it. Because its a great thing to do.

First Impressions

First impressions mean a lot these days. They can make or break a potential friendship, relationship, or even a job. Here is my first impression to you: Pure Fetish is going to be about girls, and not just about pillow talk or the hottest trend but also the issues we face day to day; how the world is limiting us, what we can do about it, etc. But I'm not going to have this be a completely over the top feminist blog. I want to talk about real things that people might not be aware of, along with fun day to day things I myself encounter in the greatest city on earth: Manhattan. Some days may be light and breezy, others will probably be more serious and relevant based upon what I see and encounter along my own adventures. Either way I hope this made a great first impression. And now I begin.